Should I stay or should I go
This post is the first part of a series on this topic.
One day driving into work, my short little commute turned into one of the biggest defining moments of my life. I decided to quit my job of nearly 10 years. Just like that. Flash decision. Walked in and spoke to my manager, gave my 2-week notice. I then walked into my office, closed the door, sat down and suddenly all the familiar pieces of my day looked foreign and at the same time I felt oddly sentimental about. Everything I accomplished there went from a “today” to a “yesterday”. That night, I had what was my first major panic attack (thank you ER doctors for letting me know I was not dying, BTW). My body could not process what my mind had just carried out. Honestly, did my mind really know what it had done?
Deciding to leave a vocation which involves animals is not an easy 180. We speak for them, advocate for them, and as it is said so many times, we are their voice. We love on them, tend the needs to make them warm, healthy and clean, and in return get loving looks, wags and purrs, and see the scared or shy ones start to bloom into who they are. So, when we leave, how do you reconcile “giving them notice” if you know what I mean. We cannot tell them bye, right? One less set of hugging arms, a familiar happy voice, gone to their world. And haven’t they already lost enough, had people let them down and disappear forever. So, this is hard, hard hard. My snap decision to leave may not be a good choice here. How can you make a choice that will keep your mind and body in happy harmony?
STEP 1: You need to know the person you are (maybe) firing from animal welfare…. you. So here is some homework! You will be making a list, on paper or in your head or both. Start by listing what words describe you, whatever pops into your head start there; example: retail salesperson, wife/girlfriend, mother, lover of travel, friendly helper.
As your list starts to grow, double check your description words/phrases to be sure they are what YOU see yourself as NOT what OTHERS DO or what you WANT OTHERS to see. This is crucial. Not easy but very important. Once you have a nice sized list, we can start to analyze it further. Because a good question exists, is anyone really a “salesperson”? (Well, I know we do attach the phrase “used car salesperson” to someone with certain personality traits but aside from that.) This is where it can get really interesting; start digging further into what traits make you that “salesperson” or “good mother” and so on, as these are the better words or phrases that you need to put on the list instead. So as a replacement for “good mother”, you may find that “empathetic listener”, “brave problem solver”, “quick thinker”, really get to the heart of the specific bits of you that make you tick. NOTE: Please be as self-aware and open as possible to list good and bad traits, you really need to understand both. What is your downside, what are your flaws/your things you wish or want to work on to make better? List, list, list. Your brain may stall, your brain may block you, and you may find yourself stuck and want to stop the lesson. This is new territory and fear may hold you back. That is fine. Stop, but keep the idea of the list in your head. As you go through your days, you will likely find something that pops up and into your head and you will have an “ah-ha moment”, “oh look at what I just did/said”, and there is something for your list. In real time let the events of your day make you even more aware of the idea of your mission to find out who you are, being a detective who is on a very special mission to discover you and see what your future should hold in animal welfare!
Let your list evolve and edit as needed. We will continue to discuss the next steps in a future post!
Till next time,
From one Heart to another,
~Sandra