How did I get here
Dear Rescue Hearts,
When you get in your car after your shift, how do you feel? You may be a bit smellier (the wonderful perfume of shelter love!). You mentally juggle how the shift went, along with all the things you may need to do now; family, errands, getting home to your own pack, etc. Sometimes there is a sadness or numb feeling. You may think, “I just went through the motions” or feel exhausted from trying to avoid unpleasant situations, or even felt boredom or frustration. You may feel like you have lost some of your former happiness. “What has happened to me?” Can you get back that former life and stand proud on the path you began that first wonderful day? Where the heck did your smile go and will it come back?
We are not failures for feeling sad or thinking these kinds of thoughts. Don’t beat yourself up over a single thought. It’s easy to feel helpless at some point when you are part of animal welfare, no matter how big or small you think your role is. Everyone feels the chaos of being overwhelmed, over-worked and over-stressed at some time. How can we not? Right now, people are returning dogs post-COVID, we are bursting at the seams with animals, many shelters are no longer accepting cats or other animals and pet owners trying to get the animals they have to the vet and have brought with them big egos and very short fuses. We care about these animals like they are our own, but letting the struggle constantly chase its own tail will get us nowhere.
So, let’s go back to your starting point. What was that “heartbeat” that gave you the push to start an animal welfare life?
Hang with me, let’s talk about what your heartbeat is, what has fueled that “boom-boom” and why it is more than just a single memory.
My heartbeat came from needing an escape and way to cope with a very sad personal situation. My one-time pack of two dogs went down to no dogs in less than 7 months. The last one did not survive an emergency surgery. She was barely 3 years old. The dog before that one passed had died after an 8 month all out fight with cancer. I had just moved back to the Midwest and had no support system to lean on. I felt I lost my reason to be me; gone from my own life. I wore the same clothes for days. Went between having no appetite to finding myself sitting in my car in a fast-food parking lot with a barely touched burger crying my eyes out. I needed to get out of the house, and sorely missed being around dogs, so lending a hand once a week at a shelter was my hopeful cure. Still rather numb, I went into survival mode, made the leap, and in time, being there sure did the trick. Life gained motion again.
So think back to what your motivation was to do that volunteer application, check out the shelter’s website or ask questions to someone you knew who worked or volunteered with the shelter. What was that thing/moment/person that moved you forward?
The spark in your soul and heart that drove you into action in those early days is your true heartbeat.
Now, what got you in the door that first day may have quickly and happily evolved into something even more. Think about that first week or even first few months and all those memories and moments that became new experiences as your life took in all this new territory. Maybe a special dog or cat tugged your heart. Maybe meeting adopters who were so grateful for your organizations work, and that amazing feeling of seeing a dog or cat get adopted. Getting to know other volunteers/staff who taught you so much and/or showed how much your being there matters. A sick animal that made a full recovery and the grateful owners who could not stop thanking everyone. Maybe you finally felt less invisible, and that actually felt okay! Possibly you felt a sense of pleasure you have never had from paid work or anything else you have ever done. These experiences and memories can be factored into your original heartbeat too! You betcha!
Your heartbeat memories can help repair yourself when shelter and clinic life is hitting you hard. Fear, sadness, and anger can happen no matter what we are doing. Don’t let these feelings be your ONLY reality, let the good vibes of your heartbeat push into your thoughts in a big way. What matters while feeling these emotions is that you can still give yourself the ability to keep going. Note the phrase “give yourself the ability”. We are not powerless, so take your power back!! Your heartbeat kind of has a superpower and can be part of the magic that will help you cope with and conquer the negativity from wherever it comes from.
And here is the real news, your heartbeat is not just a memory, it represents an absolutely true, real part of the beautiful person you are, a part that is so wonderful, valuable, and yet unique, it makes you, well YOU!
When you know your heartbeat, you gain an insight into yourself, which can open the door to a clearer view on what you have to offer the world. If we only acknowledge our weaker or negative selves it is like putting ourselves in emotional quicksand; the more you beat yourself up the farther down you sink into the mess and the more helpless things become. All you see is yourself sinking! Don’t get stuck friends or we can miss seeing the things that make us special and can make us happy.
And a wonderful side effect…. your heartbeat can also inspire others!
Imagine that.
Till next time,
From one heart to another,
~Sandra